Here I Go Again

This is Lindsey. I'm kind of excited to post on this blog. I know at least 3 or 4 other people are reading it and I feel more accountable. I feel like this is my bazillionth time trying to lose weight. I start out thinking I am motivated and then it ends rather soon. I justify breaking the diet because of stress or convenience. But I'm so sick of feeling the way I do as far as my body goes that I just am ready for this time to be different. I'm feeling pretty positive about my life right now and things are going well. I just don't feel comfortable in my own skin. And that is my ultimate goal here, is to feel comfortable in the body I have and right now I don't. I'm so far from that and thinking about that feeling makes me want to cry. But that is not why I'm here. I started Body for Life two weeks ago. Week 1 went okay and I lost some weight. Week 2 didn't go so well for certain reasons. I won't give you my excuses. But I'm just going to eliminate that week and start week 2 over, starting today (yesterday was my sister's birthday and I made her a cake-there's one of my excuses.) The Body for Life book is really motivating so I'm reading that and hoping it will help. In the book a man is describing how he feels about his body "I opened my eyes and realized that my body had become something I didn't feel was me." That's EXACTLY how I feel. If you take away my body I feel pretty good about myself and what I've accomplished. But my body is here and I can't take it away. It's just in a state that doesn't portray how I feel deep down. I'm grateful for my body I just need to take better care of it and make it a priority.

I'm not going to share with you my ultimate weight loss goal until I've actually accomplished it. And I don't know if I ever will share my start out weight with anyone except my husband. Right now I'm going to just set smaller goals that I'm going to work toward. I think that will help me keep motivated. Cause lets be honest, if I look only toward my ultimate goal I might quit because it seems so far away. So I'm going to have my ultimate goal along with my little goals in the back of my mind. Actually they should be in the front of my mind. So here's my first goal. To lose approx. 19.3% of my body weight by January 1st. There I said it. It's out there for all to see. Well at least those 3-4 people that will be reading this. I kind of feel a mixture between positiveness, nervousness, and doubt. I know I can do it but because I never have finished a weight loss goal in the past I'm kind of doubting myself. But I've put it all on the line and am now in this "Biggest Fullmer Loser" thing and I haven't done this before so that's a positive change right? Anyway, here I go again.