What I really mean is that I love it so much, I hate it. I made a cake for my sister on Monday. Well it was meant to be a three tier cake but the top tier was too unstable so it's been in our fridge for a few days. I've resisted it...up until now. Noelle wanted some and I caved. The problem was that I didn't just cave a little, I caved a lot. I want to cry. Whenever I start out restricting a lot of the foods I ate before, I do this. I'm craving it so much that I give in to that craving and I feel all is lost. The problem was that before I had no restrictions whatsoever, which you can guess has added to all my weight gain. This is one of the things that I'm hoping to get on top of. I cannot live this way the rest of my life. I need to have restrictions or else I feel like I'm going downhill, spiraling out of control. AHHHHHH! With most diets I've started I never last past the first couple of weeks because of this addiction/problem that I have. It usually happens under stress or feeling down. I would like to say that I'm motivated to just keep going forward but I'm not. I'm frustrated and discouraged and it's only like week two in my seemingly never ending journey. I'm going to move forward whether I want to or not. So I think I'll just cry a little and start my day again. Even though start #1 was only a couple hours ago. Maybe this is why this time is different. Before I would have given up and wrecked my day completely but today I'm not going to.
p.s. Please tell me others have the same problem I do at times.
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